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Moderator Discussion Guide
The Decade Map
This assessment invites participants to view their life as a series of decades, each with its own theme, accomplishments, and losses. The Decade Map creates distance from the daily grind and helps people see patterns, turning points, and the arc of their life. Your role is to help participants recognize the narrative structure of their own story and to anticipate the decade ahead with intention rather than drift.
PROMPT 1
Which decade of your life was the most formative and why?
Listen for what "formative" means to them—was it when they took a big risk, suffered loss, found their purpose, or built their identity? Often the most formative decade is not the happiest. Help them articulate what happened that shaped who they became.
PROMPT 2
What pattern do you see repeating across decades that you want to break?
This is about meta-awareness. Some patterns are protective—people may have relived a conflict or repeated a choice that once served them but no longer does. Naming the pattern is the first step to interrupting it. This requires courage and honesty.
PROMPT 3
What's the theme you want this current decade to be defined by?
This moves from reflection to intention. Not goals—themes. Is this the decade of mastery? Belonging? Healing? Risk-taking? Simplification? The theme frames how decisions get made and what gets prioritized. Help them choose something authentic, not aspirational.
PROMPT 4
What did you gain and lose in your most successful decade?
Success is often bittersweet. A decade of achievement may have cost them time with family or health or friendships. This question helps participants see the full price of their choices, not just the wins. It often surfaces grief about trade-offs they made.
PROMPT 5
Looking ahead two decades, what does a life well-lived look like?
This is long-range visioning without being about specific outcomes. It's about the quality of life they want, the relationships that matter, the mark they want to leave. Help them stay with the emotion of the vision—often what they describe reveals what's missing now.
Tips for the Moderator
- Some participants will see their life arc as tragedy, others as triumph. Both narratives have hidden assumptions—gently examine them.
- Patterns are powerful. When someone names a repeating pattern, help them stay with it; the pattern usually contains wisdom about what they need or fear.
- This conversation often surfaces grief about lost possibilities—allow space for that. Not everything can be done in one lifetime.
- The decade ahead is often where they feel most anxiety or defensiveness. This is where intention matters most.
- Watch for the temptation to "fix" the past through the next decade. Help them acknowledge what was, learn from it, and move forward with clarity, not compensation.